


The Goddamn Batman, in the Style of Every Badly Written Female Character Ever

by Phantom_Midge



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: Community: fail_fandomanon, Deliberate Badfic, Gen, Literary References, Objectification, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-18 04:34:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14205171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phantom_Midge/pseuds/Phantom_Midge
Summary: A description of Batman, written for a fail_fandomanon prompt to describe your favourite character the way male professional authors describe female characters.





	The Goddamn Batman, in the Style of Every Badly Written Female Character Ever

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [here](https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/308903.html?thread=1760068263#cmt1760068263).

Bruce looked at his reflection in the glass case where he kept his many Batsuits. He was an attractive man of about forty-five, a little too strong-jawed and muscular for his own liking, but his past lovers had all assured him that they found these traits attractive. His pectoral muscles were neither too big nor too small, and his waist was in perfect proportion to his firm, voluptuous buttocks. His jet black hair was cut close to his head, and his dark eyebrows framed his sky blue eyes and lithe, opaque nose in a way that made his face look sensual and exotic. As he turned away from his Batsuits and walked toward his robot _T. rex_ , he felt his nipples rub up against the inside of his shirt.

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> The “lithe, opaque nose” bit is a reference to The Eye of Argon, one of the worst pieces of fantasy fiction ever written. You can read it [here](https://ansible.uk/misc/eyeargon.html).


End file.
